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June 26 some articles Nowadays I have no mood or passion to write anything..but searching for things amazing,with sparking ethusiasm. I am experiencing a period of lonely ,of nostalgia, of flippancy....
I like some words I've read to instead of my own thing, maybe that's so-called lazy-bones.
Here we goes April 18 ~blue&anger~ I am just wondering if I have got any trouble with him the God, otherwise, how could things be done like these! Unbelievabele disaster! Already, I have almost forgotten i am a student here who were likely with great ambition and determination. But now, it is not the same situation as it used to be, complex relation to deal with, lots of work to do... I have been here for more than half a year, no succeeds, no proud, even my dream has gone into dark and hard to pull back. Thanks my friends,thanks my parents,thanks the "sister", they standed behind me and encouraged me,even though they didn't know what has really happened to me and how I was. I want to hold on, and have to. It seems that the real life,the real sociaty have come into my life, or I have gone into it. I have to learn to face them alone,but no giving up. Yeah, perhaps God does exists, sometimes he was just teasing, you were merely to the moment unfortunate, all my wish is to get out. April 03 ~It's been busy~ Someone said my words were that kind of magic which exact means she could not understand, OK, straightforwardly , it means my words can not be understand.! Shut down, God! How depressed! I won't forgive her! "Tale as old as time, true as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly Just a little change, small to say the least, both a little scared, neither one prepared…" Maybe it is , maybe not, but I believe, I will be that lucky "beast" with my girl living together, happy,delight, worriless, like the fariy tale… It's been busy, our courses have been so much since this week, and there will be much less free time for me simutaneously. March 29 ~none~ Yesterday, I saw some pictures of my high school on a space of a friend. It was spring .The trees of new leaves, flowers in colours, Xi garden with the Mo pool, all of the things were about the same as the time my last time living there, just a year has passed. Things have changed, exactly I have changed. I have been far far away from my school, from my home, and from my dream. All that is still there, in those fine pictures,in those old classrooms,in those passed days…I have some spacial feelings when I saw the classroom I have been in. There were 60 dreamers who are dreaming about their destiny, and tring to change it with their endeavor. I was a member of them, but nothing can be reversed I have to admit that I missed those places so much. Seemingly, I pretended to make everthing far away of me, inside, something like nostalgia and yearm have already deeply rooted in my heart that even I myself can not see it, but feel. March 25 ~trust myself~ This afternoon, we our class football team have gained a wonderful score on the match against the 101 football team . That is 7: 0! Yes~ it is ,seven goals, two of which are mine. Our team's attack has completely destoryed their usual strategy. Things above are all the excitings, all! These days I've always been very depression, there were so many reasons for me to have such feelings, I do not want to list them here one by one, more, i do not know how to say. 不解释了 感觉像逃荒 可是是为什么呢? 那个谁说的:只要看准了 就别让他跑了~! come on! March 22 ~o! i am ill~ It is a bad day! Nothing goes through my expectation. My phone has got out of serve and the Maths' teacher has totally destoryed his figure in my mind, worst, i am ill! i had a fever… exactly i had got a bad cold. Indeed,it is a so windy weather that this city in. i ,until now, hardly get used to it… fortunatelly,illness is not a kind of nothing of use. First,with no hesitation,i give myself a wonderful pay — a nice super,for i have not had such cate for a long time may be just since i got here. Second, i finally get a proper excuse to excape the English class that i have dreams for for a long time , and thanks for my illness, I got a two-day time to relax and play…! March 19 ~it's my fault~ I looked up the dictionary for a word that could exactly express my present feeling——disappoint,gloomy,depressed… they may be a part of what i want to say,but not the whole. I found another word i have not known before:morose.It says:unhappy,bad-tempered and not talking very much.Yes,just unhappy!a very simple word.I got much better just when I have saw the word.It is a kind of relax or relieved. I have saw some words somewhere before long.I can not remember each word,but there is a trope of mood. "Sometimes u may feel terrible,then u regard everthing as the worst.U teen,u feel lost,u can not gather yourself together…all of these just come from a broken ballpen fallen of the desk. After a moment of complain and holler,u get right." Things always go with the easiest way,all the bumpiness are in you heart,it is you~that make the world. March 17 ~我的意思是~ 这几天很平,淡! 无聊~ 无趣~无助~无所谓! 感觉很离奇~日子哗啦哗啦的没了~就像《百年孤独》里的那个上校一样~ 我开始发现日子开始重复了~……(靠,接了个鬼电话 没心情写了) 下次再说 March 15 ~磐涅~丫丫的X~~~终于把密码找回来了!!! 我靠 5个月之后我又回来了!! 不过真的不想写了~~ 写出来的不全是真的~ 全是真的又不敢往上写~麻烦~抒发点感情表达下郁闷就是全部的用途了~~ 突然想念当年的“日记本” 那是个好东东!虽然没用过~不过什么时候如果网上开始叫卖大学男生日记了也许我会考虑写写的~毕竟嘛~钱是个比日记本还好的东东!可是拿了钱干什么呢~ 买笔记本…… 不说了 October 15 ~无题~ 最近不知怎么的,总会有点莫名其妙的郁闷。
生活就像巧克力盒子一样,你永远不知道里面装的是什么,可是最近打开的盒子都是那么让人心烦。为什么巧克力的盒子里装的不是巧克力,却像是柠檬~总让我心酸。今天很奇怪,出来这么久了,突然有了怀念的感觉。怀念那个家,怀念那些人,怀念那些事,就像一个耄耋的老人在回忆当初似的静默,充满了感慨和回忆,却不带挽留。
这种感觉以前好像没有过,只是来到这里之后才发现原来有些东西真的值得我去珍惜和回忆,无论我如何用主观感觉去掩盖,都无法抹平那种冲动在心理激起的荡漾。淡,却回味无穷。醉,却难得自拔。 September 30 ~初来乍到~ 估计是巧合吧~ 我对大连的映像很不错的~ 可是他对我去很不怎么样~
昨天经过了将近8个小时的海上漂泊之后~ 我们的那艘大船终于在烟雨迷蒙中到达了大连港~看见了雨雾中的巨型机械臂在来来回回的不停穿梭着~
虽说船大浪小~但是对于第一次作海船的我来说~还是有点晕晕乎乎的~
走出船舱~才发现在威海还是淅淅沥沥的小雨到了这里已经变得有些磅礴了~还夹带着一些阵阵五六级的冷风~ 刚走下出港的公共汽车~很不幸的~一脚踏在了水坑里~~~ 郁闷`````我没想到大连会以这样的天气来迎接我的初来乍到~ 不到一小时后~我的鞋和裤腿全湿了(我就这么一双鞋一条裤子~~~你小子真够狠的!!)我就只能这样拖着两只沉重的双脚在雨点中肆无忌惮了~雨伞没用~~~拿不住的~风太大了~~~
晚上在房间里可真够忙活的~ 把那双被雨水冲洗得很干净的鞋擦了又擦~~~~把裤子抖了又抖~~没办法~~~~~~好不容易干完了活~已经该睡觉了~~~
今天早上起来的时候总算雨停了~~我昨天本打算如果雨一直下我就去沈阳看看~~~还好~停了~~~~最郁闷的便是今天上去取钱了~ 我拿了一张威海的存折去~别人说这里是辽宁~~那叫一个郁闷阿~~!!!!!!!我身上连买回去的船票的钱都没有了~~~怎么活~~!!?还好~~银行那位小姐让我办了一张辽宁的账户~~~我马上出去打电话找老爸汇款~~打开帐户一看~~~名字写错了~!```怎么这么郁闷~!!~~刚跑回银行 ~发现口袋忘在电话亭了~(怎一个郁闷了得!)~总算办完了~~打完电话了~~公用电话的~老板娘又发难了~~9毛钱的话费~~我没有零钱~给了一张十块的~那老板拿了钱之后就开始说~你这个小伙子也真是~不是写了自备小钞的吗~?没长眼睛啊~拿着电话就打~当这儿是你家啊~…………我回头看了看电话~在电话的最顶部~用极尽可能小的几个字写了~“自备零钱”~晕~你当我是千里眼啊~那老板从拿到钱一直到找完零钱给我就没消停下来~~我已经郁闷得无话可说了~拿了钱走了~ 还是走吧~~~~~!!!!!!!
现在哪儿也去不成了~就等着汇款呢~~~~ 快点吧~~~我郁闷着呢!!!
(TMD为什么每次连“郁闷”这个词组都需要重新查找!!!!!) September 24 ~ 禅修 ~ 来了这将近一个月之后 终于正式开上课了~~
和想象中的有很大的不一样 以为上了大学可以轻松加愉快的过去~~可是 当发现高等数学改成了数学分析~英语直接上第二册(第一册自学)之后~~~ 我只觉得很恐怖~~~ 想象未来的生活~ 怎么过阿~~那天我居然在自修室一直里坐了6个小时!!!!!!~~我都觉得很惊讶的~~~~ 高三的时候要是有这么用功的话 绝对就不会是现在这个样子了~~~
现在上可就像打仗一样~~每天早上5点过就起床了, 然后等到6点钟教室开门之后就冲进去抢占有利地形~~然后才是洗漱 吃饭 甚至是在小睡一会儿~ 反正还有两个小时才上课呢~~~ 而那些提前一个小时来的战士们只好看着所有位置已经霸为别人有~~只得悲叹~自己起得太晚了~于是第二天6点钟在教室门口排队的人又多了很多~哎~~~
如果有两节大课连上的话~~那就需要更强的应变能力了~~这边下课之后~ 你必须在10秒钟之内从二楼的东侧跑到一楼的西侧去~~否则~千里眼也没用~~~~
来了一个月~开始觉得这里人烟较为稀少 经济较为落后 女生非常丑陋~~就像踏入了嵩山腰上的少林室一样~~~适合于练功 打坐 修禅~~ September 18 ~中秋~ 今天是中秋 祝爸爸妈妈节日愉快~~身体好~~心情好~~工作顺利~~
另外~~爷爷奶奶~~外公外婆~~以及所有亲戚们都好 都快乐~~~~
还有~~光光 猪猪 乳 淼淼 包 泥巴 牛 农民 大加快乐~~学习爱情双丰收~~
还有很多很多的朋友~~同学 大家都快乐~~~~~~
海上升明月 天涯共此时~~~
愿你们都幸福~快乐 September 14 ~我回来了~~ 我终于又看见了那熟悉的登陆艇~~~ 我终于又坐在了登陆艇舱外平板的最前端~~我终于又能感受到海风在我身边肆虐的快感~ 我终于跳上了我这半个月都可望而不可及的大陆了~~
我站在了艇的最前端,展开双臂,领略海的气息,闭上双眼,聆听海鸥的争鸣~~
想想这半个月的非人生活~~ 真是惨不忍睹
除了一张床 啥都没有了~~~ 哎~~~
谁能想象没有淡水的日子是怎么过的~~~
这个破岛上 我们最大的希望就是能有充足的淡水 可是 我们一滴都没有 不能洗漱 不能洗澡 不能洗衣~一切需要水的活动都被无情的停止了~喝的水只有自己偷偷去买~洗的水是自己在食堂洗饭盒的时候剩下的~(食堂的水打出来都是黄色的)有时候下雨还能用盆子去屋檐下接些带着泥土的雨水来洗洗 看着那些一批一批的游客来也悠哉 去也悠哉 我们真的没有一点办法阿~就看着教官一副凶神恶煞的样子 站着军姿~~~
我原来一直认为馒头是个不怎么起眼的东西~~可是到这儿之后~每天至少2顿馒头~我靠~~~这需要有多大的毅力才能坚持阿~~尤其是你看见那馒头坚硬得足够当作砖坯的时候~~哎~~~那叫一个痛苦啊~~
岛上的风景总是不错的~尤其是灿烂的阳光总是无时无刻的在璀璨着我们的肉体~尤其是当我们在烈日下站着军姿的时候~脸上的汗开始只是一滴一滴的 然后是一片一片的 最后把衣服湿透 然后滴在了地上 总期待能飘过一两片云 暂时遮住这毒辣的阳光 可惜透蓝的天上除了一个太阳 啥也没有了~~~哎~~~~
其实 岛上军训的这半个月再苦再累也过去了~~
这些经历震得很宝贵~值得珍惜~值的怀念~但绝不需要重复!! August 31 ~~悠然而已~~ 我一直很崇拜布达佩斯广场上的鸽子~ 泰晤士河边的大笨钟~好望角边古老的灯塔~~~
飞~ 划出古老城市的涟漪
转~ 送尽多少工业繁华
静~ 镇守着世纪的秘密
不管世间风风雨雨 他们依旧安然 安然得像是在沉睡 ~ 但他们又不断地在看似沉睡的恍惚中默默的泌出超出时代的稳重~ 那种带有历史厚重感的精神总是让人敬仰和崇拜
路过广场的人一代一代恍然过去 流过大苯钟的河水依然滔滔而去 绕过好望角的船只还是络绎不绝 ~ 只有凝聚和沉积了历史灰尘的才会散发出博大的气息~
那种视世间凡尘而不顾 独自岿然不动 更不曾为谁折腰的魄气 我又和何尝不羡慕~
不想说得太多~ 古人知己恨少~~~只有那些连知己都不曾去了解的东西才会恒久珍藏~又怎么能让别人掠夺呢 哪怕仅仅是窥伺~
~ August 29 ~~开学语录~~ 经过3天3夜不断的煎熬,我 终于 到了我的大学 。
威海很漂亮 真的
我们学校也不错,依山傍海 从寝食里可以看见辽阔的大海,也有海边的山丘~ 但我的寝室 却是全校最古老的建筑之一
出来了才知道以前的生活其实很幸福的 那里真的是我的地盘~ 那里我随心所欲~那里我为所欲为~那里我如鱼得水~ 这里 就不一样了~ 真的 不一样~ 即使海风有多宁溢~ 山丘有多翡翠~总感觉 风 欲而不得 山 近却不及 我站在窗边 竭尽全力的将眼前的事物装入眼睛 依然感觉心中的空洞 我已经跑出了心的大气层 在心的外太空漂泊 那种心失重的感觉不断的催问我~蓝天碧空下的这片土地 我需要用多少时间去征服~? 我准备用多少时间去掠夺~? 一切尽在不言中
这两天 在学校里碰见了两个高中的校友 出门在外~老乡的优势一下就体现出来了 说说成都话感觉真的是放松阿~ 不用为了发音去咬文嚼字 爽~~~~~~~~~~~~~
再过两天就要去军训了~ 居然还要坐登陆艇~~~!!这种军事设备我连看都没有看过~ 但愿别晕船~阿弥陀佛~(对了 他们说一定要代够方便面)
未成年的生活已经结束了~ 再见吧~ 安息吧~
未来的种种我已不再畏惧~ 来吧~ 来吧!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! August 23 无题 本来应该是明天写这篇文章的~~但是呢 考虑到明天又那么多的事情去做~~根本不可能上网了~~
还是今天就凑数了吧。
再过大概不到一天的时间~我就走了~~~哦哦噢哦~~~这几天还是感觉到了一些离开父母朋友同学的那种失落~ 虽然说那种感觉并不强烈~但确实让我有些留恋的惆怅~依稀间透出淡淡的回味和深深的回忆~仿佛间~我们依然欢歌笑语~ 依然在那时的天空下有恃无恐~嘿嘿!!
今天已经走了一个朋友了~ 这个星期加上我的话大概要走5个人~~我们9jian人差不多过了这个星期也就真正宣布了靠距离维持的时代结束了~ 不过 或许真正的情感会比距离更加的坚定 稳固和恒久
高考前的我从来没有想过我会去那样一个地方 那样一个学校~那里虽然漂亮 虽然和谐 却无法给我一个安定的环境和一颗安定的心~ 毕竟 我的心不在那里 我一直都认为上了大学应该走出成都了 而且这曾经是那么没有疑问的 可真正当我离开的时候 还是……哎~~~~~~
我会很想念爸爸和妈妈的~还有爷爷奶奶 外公外婆 小舅小叔……虽然我曾经很烦他们那种高屋建瓴 千篇一律似的临行赠言 把我说得像个革命烈士一样有去无回的~~ 不过那种亲情的冲动却是什么也阻挡不了的 尤其它是对眼泪的摧残 真的是到了无以复加的地步 我知道我的眼泪没有那么容易就溜了出来 即便是那些那舍难分的话我也抖不出来几句 但是那些放在内心深处的东西 我知道 眼泪是流不到那里的~ 只有那阵心酸是它无声的抗议
小时候总是幻想着十五六七岁时的生活会是怎么样的 那时候甚至还不知道怎么去幻想18岁以后的日子 现在呢 却有不得不面对 十五六七的岁月已经划进了回忆的范畴 当时不知道的生活也即将独自去面对 ~~ 嘿嘿~真的只在转眼间
如果要把我的心情真的全部复制粘贴下来的话 估计会引起服务器因负荷太重而不满~还是饶他一次吧~~~~
~~~ 珍重
~~~为我 也为你们所有
诶 走了
8月23日 临行前 August 19 最后的星期五~ 等不及下个星期五 我就已经远走高飞了~~~~~~~~嗷~~~~~~
高中同学的散伙饭也在今天搞定了 剩下的 只是给自己的一点时间
一点都看不出未来会怎样 哪怕想像都很离谱
不知道一年之后 我还会怎样~
有些时候 有种期待 期待荣归故里 那种自豪和自信
却发现 只要回来~~ 也许已经满足~
那种家的感觉带我回来~ August 18 in my dream i see you soul above the sky In my dream I always see your soul above the sky
In my heart there always be a place for you for all my life
I keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
没有想说的俄i 只能抄着玩儿
要是我生在比尔盖茨家 住在温莎宫殿 学的在普林斯顿 玩的是拉斯维加斯 ……
那样的生活肯定很perfect~~~
只是醒来后会发觉现实有时候残酷了点 |
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